“Talk less. Smile more.”

Aaron Burr’s advice to Alexander Hamilton in the famous musical is something we should all practice.

I have been geeking out on smiling and researching why it is so important to our nonverbal behavior. This came about because I have been dismayed by the lack of smiles on so many Linked In videos on my feed. Do you stop on a video if the speaker isn’t smiling? I rarely do. PLEASE turn on the charm a bit and look like you enjoy the advice you are giving or look like you WANT to talk to your audience! There are so many video talking heads where the speaker looks bored. If you aren’t getting the comments or likes you desire from your videos, stop and take a look at how much you smile.

Men- you are far worse offenders of not smiling than women. What I see in your videos supports the research which “shows that the average woman smiles 62 times per day, and the average man smiles only 8.”

Why is this so important?

Everyone wants to be likable and we know it makes for better client and business relationships. I am going to say it again—why aren’t we utilizing the 70% of communication which is nonverbal to make ourselves communicate better?

Every single person reacts to your nonverbal behavior!

We can’t help it. It’s all in our brains. (If you follow my blog, you know I love neuroscience!) Mirror neurons in the brain are what we use to interpret the actions of others. Marco Iacoboni, a neuroscientist at the University of California at Los Angeles reports, “We use our body to communicate our intentions and our feelings. The gestures, facial expressions, body postures we make are social signals, ways of communicating with one another. Mirror neurons are the only brain cells we know of that seem specialized to code the actions of other people and also our own actions. They are obviously essential brain cells for social interactions.”

Don’t be discouraged! You can remember to stand with better posture, stay open and all my other tips (check out my youtube channel). You can put smiling on your checklist for networking events, meetings and video recordings. If you smile at the beginning, make sure you keep smiling too. Think about smiling on your breaths.

One more thing! Your smile must be genuine.

Use the obicularis occuli muscle which surrounds the eye socket. A genuine smile makes your skin crinkle and creates crows feet. “So when people genuinely smile, in a true burst of positive emotion, not  only to the corners of the mouth, controlled by the zygomaticus major, but this muscle around the eye also contracts” says Marianne LaFrance, an experimental psychologist at Yale University.

Before you hit “record” on the camera, picture your best client, best friend or remember a funny joke to have a the required positive emotion. Turn on the charm and smile through your eyes and right through the screen to the bored people scrolling their feed. You have the power to stop their scroll and to give them great insight and information. Make them want to comment, like or better yet- call you up!

Moving Image will analyze your video for what your nonverbal signals are sending. Understanding what others pick up by their mirror neurons can do wonders for your effectiveness! Call us at 630-234-1392.